sur·ren·der (it's a verb)
It felt like someone had taken my heart out of my chest, threw it up against a wall, let it fall to the ground and then stomped on it while it was on the floor. The 2nd round felt like my heart had never really been put back where it goes, and someone played soccer with it where it fell out before. I'm not sure I can describe how much I hurt in any other way. But I can tell you now, a couple weeks later. I know I'm going to be okay. Because this isn't about me. I know as a Christian I am to love others, as I love myself. I know I am to forgive, as I have been forgiven. Those two features don't come very easy. Like, at all. I want to share all these things about how I cannot stand my ex husband, and his wife. But this isn't about them either. My youngest boy has expressed wanting to live with this father. Visiting me, and living there. This is the same guy who has a felony DUI charge because he put my two boys in the car with him and drove while under