Can we talk about friends?
And trying to impress people we don't like?
Dave Ramsey has this great quote:
"We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like."
I don't necessarily do the money part, but a few things have happened in the past month that created a huge "Woah" moment for me!
For years, I have wondered why certain neighbors don't ask me and my husband to hang out more. I would get upset to find out there was a gathering that we weren't invited to. Of course, when I do have the chance to talk to these people, I realize that I don't have much in common with them, or we just don't "jive."
But still.
For years, I have wondered why certain groups of friends gather and hang out, and I wouldn't be invited. Of course, when I did have a chance to gather and hang out, I didn't exactly enjoy myself or feel comfortable.
But still.
Recently, I realized someone unfriended me on Facebook. Someone who has said one thing to me and done another, someone who has taken an idea of mine and made it their own, someone who I personally had unfollowed, though not unfriended.
But still. My gut reaction was "How dare she!"
And then it all hit, like a ton of bricks. Why do I worry that people who I don't like or don't jive with may not like or jive with me?
I know I've been a people pleaser my entire life, but I didn't see how much I had allowed that character trait to define me, and worse still, allowed that trait to dishonor myself.
Not everyone is my cup of tea.
And I am not everyone's cup of tea.
That does not mean they are bad and I am good, or they are good and I am bad.
We just don't jive.
They just aren't my people.
And when I force them to be my people, or when I force myself to be their people...I am not honoring the person I am!
They can gather and have fun and do all kinds of things, and not invite me to come along.
If I put my energy into finding my people, who I do jive with, who are my cup of tea, you know what?
I can ask those people, "Hey, want to gather and have fun and do all kinds of things, together?"
Guys, I feel like I just graduated from high school here!
It all seems so simple, but I have spent decades of my life trying to fit in to places where I simply do not fit. Like a peg in a square hole.
I don't need to do that.
You don't need to do that.
You have your people. They are out there.
Be you, unabashedly you, and you will find them.
"We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like."
I don't necessarily do the money part, but a few things have happened in the past month that created a huge "Woah" moment for me!
For years, I have wondered why certain neighbors don't ask me and my husband to hang out more. I would get upset to find out there was a gathering that we weren't invited to. Of course, when I do have the chance to talk to these people, I realize that I don't have much in common with them, or we just don't "jive."
But still.
For years, I have wondered why certain groups of friends gather and hang out, and I wouldn't be invited. Of course, when I did have a chance to gather and hang out, I didn't exactly enjoy myself or feel comfortable.
But still.
Recently, I realized someone unfriended me on Facebook. Someone who has said one thing to me and done another, someone who has taken an idea of mine and made it their own, someone who I personally had unfollowed, though not unfriended.
But still. My gut reaction was "How dare she!"
And then it all hit, like a ton of bricks. Why do I worry that people who I don't like or don't jive with may not like or jive with me?
I know I've been a people pleaser my entire life, but I didn't see how much I had allowed that character trait to define me, and worse still, allowed that trait to dishonor myself.
Not everyone is my cup of tea.
And I am not everyone's cup of tea.
That does not mean they are bad and I am good, or they are good and I am bad.
We just don't jive.
They just aren't my people.
And when I force them to be my people, or when I force myself to be their people...I am not honoring the person I am!
They can gather and have fun and do all kinds of things, and not invite me to come along.
If I put my energy into finding my people, who I do jive with, who are my cup of tea, you know what?
I can ask those people, "Hey, want to gather and have fun and do all kinds of things, together?"
Guys, I feel like I just graduated from high school here!
It all seems so simple, but I have spent decades of my life trying to fit in to places where I simply do not fit. Like a peg in a square hole.
I don't need to do that.
You don't need to do that.
You have your people. They are out there.
Be you, unabashedly you, and you will find them.
xo-
Misty
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