Don't leave me, but please leave me.

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Oh, be still my heart.




I know I've made mistakes while I have been your momma. I know I'm not perfect. All I've ever wanted to do, is raise you to have a childhood that you wouldn't have to recover from.

This morning I re-read a blog that was about a mom and her boys. So as it inspired my tears this morning it's inspired this blog post as well. 


As my boys have gotten older, I keep coming to the realization that they won't always be there to hug good night. They won't always be there to scratch their backs before bed. They won't have to text me to ask me something.
I'm not just raising boys, I'm raising men. Men who will one day be husband's. One day be fathers to their own children. 

It's emotional, even though this is the way life is supposed to be. I love my sons so much, I can't even fathom that I won't be able to walk into that smelly room and tell them to get started on the weeks worth of dirty clothes they have piled up.

Don't leave me.

But, please leave me.



To my future daughter in-laws.
I may not know you yet, but already, I love you. I love you so much, because some day, you will love my son. And he will return that love.
There will come a day that this sticky, messy boy will be yours. He will always be mine, but you will take my place in many ways.
Someday your hand will replace mine. Your eyes will be his peace and your heart will be his home.
It’ll be you he kisses goodnight.
It’ll be you he shares his dreams with.
It’ll be you who comforts him when he is scared.
It’ll be you who holds his heart. The same heart that beat against my chest as I held him each night.
Someday, sweet girl, that will be you.
The tears flow so freely while I write this, because being their mom has been my calling. And it'll always be my calling, however, so are you sweet girl.
Be good to my son. His heart is pure.
Remember he doesn't complete you, and you cannot complete him. That's only Jesus. And while I'm always his momma, Jesus will always be first. He entrusted me with him for so many years, only for me to give you his hand one day.

My lifeline will go on and one day the two of you will give me a grandchild, and it'll be a entirely new heart string to pull on. 




Oh, be still my heart. 


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