Self Made & Confidence; Raising Kids to have it.
I'm a huge fan these days for self help and personal growth.
Maybe those two words are too much the same/similar to put as two separate words, but this is my blog, and I want them to be two different words.
Because Self help is kinda like self made. For me anyway... and personal growth is a continuance of that.
Let me take you back.
I was a child once. (Shocking...) and I grew up with no words of affirmation. I actually grew up with very negative words, constant. Example, when I told my mother I was pregnant (at 16) she said, "great, you're another statistic". Now, I'm not real sure what I would say to my teenager if that situation arose, but I can tell you what I wouldn't say.
I was 20 when I told her I was pregnant with Kaden. And I was over the moon about that pregnancy, because it was planned. Her words were "I wish you had lost more weight before you got pregnant again".
I'm not a parent expert. I don't claim to be. But hear me when you read this. The things you say to your children, they will carry through their entire life. Forever.
Do they use it for good like I'm doing now? Maybe. Maybe not. Why take those odds? {This isn't a may the odds be ever in your favor blog. This is a "I climbed my way to being self made, and it wasn't easy, blog"}
Self help comes in because I had to help myself. I didn't have a parental support system. I had the living in a bus upbringing. Was it horrible, yes... yes it was. Why? Because I was 12-16yrs old. Everything to that age group is horrible, even when it's a 3 bed 2 bath 2 car garage home in suburban, Oklahoma. Trust me, I am raising 3 in that age demographic. I know this!
And now this is where personal growth comes in....
hold that thought.
Let me back up for a bit... because what I really want to talk about is confidence, which goes into self helping.
We want our children to have confidence. My oldest, (Seth) has some serious confidence. To the point where I chuckle at him because sometimes it sounds like it's boarder line cocky.
He has the confidence I didn't gain until I was about 27 years old. So he's ahead of the game.
Our kids don't just watch us, they hear us. They hear me talk about my health, not just see me walk everyday. They hear Daniel and I talk about making a grocery list and staying on budget, not just see us stick to a list. They hear no, but they see us working to the yes.
I repeat I'm not an expert. I make some triumphant parent fails sometimes. I struggle as a step parent. I'm a step mom, and it's really hard. But with personal growth I've gotten better.
I try to praise my children at all times. Not harp that they didn't do something right.
What if instead of grounding them because they didn't get A's, we were thankful they aren't failing?
I didn't have the best start, but I'm changing it. Because not only do people deserve my best, but my kids deserve it.
Personal growth isn't just something you do every quarter. It's daily. Daily strides to be better.
Because to continue to be self made, you have to continue to grow. I'm 32, I'm still learning.
I learn from my children, all the time.
I learn from them that they actually have a hard time being a kid in this day in age.
I make light that we didn't have this, or that when I was growing up, and I am very grateful I grew up without cell phones.
But do you realize they literally have the world at their finger tips, in their pockets at any given time. How crazy is that? You ever thought of it that way? To be able to find the answer on Google at any given time. What an age to grow up in. And what will it be like for their kids? It's only advancing. Machines are taking jobs. Trades are becoming more and more harder to find with all the college education needed now.
I'll wrap this up. Confidence. Speak it. Be it. Your kids will mirror what you do, and how you raise them will teach them how they should raise their kids.
I raise my children COMPLETELY opposite of the way I was raised, because I AM self made, and I crawled my way into confidence.
Yes, be their parent. But be there for them too. There is a difference.
xo
Misty Rayne
Maybe those two words are too much the same/similar to put as two separate words, but this is my blog, and I want them to be two different words.
Because Self help is kinda like self made. For me anyway... and personal growth is a continuance of that.
Let me take you back.
I was a child once. (Shocking...) and I grew up with no words of affirmation. I actually grew up with very negative words, constant. Example, when I told my mother I was pregnant (at 16) she said, "great, you're another statistic". Now, I'm not real sure what I would say to my teenager if that situation arose, but I can tell you what I wouldn't say.
I was 20 when I told her I was pregnant with Kaden. And I was over the moon about that pregnancy, because it was planned. Her words were "I wish you had lost more weight before you got pregnant again".
I'm not a parent expert. I don't claim to be. But hear me when you read this. The things you say to your children, they will carry through their entire life. Forever.
Do they use it for good like I'm doing now? Maybe. Maybe not. Why take those odds? {This isn't a may the odds be ever in your favor blog. This is a "I climbed my way to being self made, and it wasn't easy, blog"}
Self help comes in because I had to help myself. I didn't have a parental support system. I had the living in a bus upbringing. Was it horrible, yes... yes it was. Why? Because I was 12-16yrs old. Everything to that age group is horrible, even when it's a 3 bed 2 bath 2 car garage home in suburban, Oklahoma. Trust me, I am raising 3 in that age demographic. I know this!
And now this is where personal growth comes in....
hold that thought.
Let me back up for a bit... because what I really want to talk about is confidence, which goes into self helping.
We want our children to have confidence. My oldest, (Seth) has some serious confidence. To the point where I chuckle at him because sometimes it sounds like it's boarder line cocky.
He has the confidence I didn't gain until I was about 27 years old. So he's ahead of the game.
Our kids don't just watch us, they hear us. They hear me talk about my health, not just see me walk everyday. They hear Daniel and I talk about making a grocery list and staying on budget, not just see us stick to a list. They hear no, but they see us working to the yes.
I repeat I'm not an expert. I make some triumphant parent fails sometimes. I struggle as a step parent. I'm a step mom, and it's really hard. But with personal growth I've gotten better.
I try to praise my children at all times. Not harp that they didn't do something right.
What if instead of grounding them because they didn't get A's, we were thankful they aren't failing?
I didn't have the best start, but I'm changing it. Because not only do people deserve my best, but my kids deserve it.
Personal growth isn't just something you do every quarter. It's daily. Daily strides to be better.
Because to continue to be self made, you have to continue to grow. I'm 32, I'm still learning.
I learn from my children, all the time.
I learn from them that they actually have a hard time being a kid in this day in age.
I make light that we didn't have this, or that when I was growing up, and I am very grateful I grew up without cell phones.
But do you realize they literally have the world at their finger tips, in their pockets at any given time. How crazy is that? You ever thought of it that way? To be able to find the answer on Google at any given time. What an age to grow up in. And what will it be like for their kids? It's only advancing. Machines are taking jobs. Trades are becoming more and more harder to find with all the college education needed now.
I'll wrap this up. Confidence. Speak it. Be it. Your kids will mirror what you do, and how you raise them will teach them how they should raise their kids.
I raise my children COMPLETELY opposite of the way I was raised, because I AM self made, and I crawled my way into confidence.
Yes, be their parent. But be there for them too. There is a difference.
xo
Misty Rayne
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