Grace, Love & Kindness + Life.

It felt like someone had taken my heart out of my chest, threw it up against a wall, let it fall to the ground and then stomped on it while it was on the floor. The 2nd round felt like my heart had never really been put back where it goes, and someone played soccer with it where it fell out before. I'm not sure I can describe how much I hurt in any other way. But I can tell you now, a couple weeks later. I know I'm going to be okay. Because this isn't about me. I know as a Christian I am to love others, as I love myself. I know I am to forgive, as I have been forgiven. Those two features don't come very easy. Like, at all. I want to share all these things about how I cannot stand my ex husband, and his wife. But this isn't about them either. My youngest boy has expressed wanting to live with this father. Visiting me, and living there. This is the same guy who has a felony DUI charge because he put my two boys in the car with him and drove while under...

Okay... Okay. Before I get into the details. Here's my disclaimer. We are not 'Vegan' we are not 'Vegetarians'. We are on a plant based 'diet' for 2 weeks. We're testing the waters. We've watched a few shows, we've read several stats, and we've done some of our own research, we've heard first hand testimonies. So, we're trying it out. Day 3 is almost complete. I haven't felt bloated. And I have slept SO well. As soon as this week hits, I will go without alcohol too. So that added in, I think is going to amp up weight loss too. I do know that alcohol sabotages my weight loss. So I will cut that out too. However, weight loss isn't the goal of trying out plant base dieting. The goal is health. I was to be healthy on the inside as well as looking healthy on the outside. I can't wait to share results as they come!

And trying to impress people we don't like? Dave Ramsey has this great quote: "We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like." I don't necessarily do the money part, but a few things have happened in the past month that created a huge "Woah" moment for me! For years, I have wondered why certain neighbors don't ask me and my husband to hang out more. I would get upset to find out there was a gathering that we weren't invited to. Of course, when I do have the chance to talk to these people, I realize that I don't have much in common with them, or we just don't "jive." But still. For years, I have wondered why certain groups of friends gather and hang out, and I wouldn't be invited. Of course, when I did have a chance to gather and hang out, I didn't exactly enjoy myself or feel comfortable. But still. Recently, I realized someone unfriended me on Facebook. Someo...

I was young-er, once. I was thinner, once. I weighed less, once. I was easier going, once. Now I'm older. I'm a little heavier. And I'm a little... okay, a bit- I refuse to say a lot, high maintenance. I'm humble, even though I'm confident. I have trouble being myself sometimes. I have trouble letting go of control. I like to be in charge, and the sooner you realize that, and 'go with my flow' the better friends we can be. I mean, I'd like to tell you I'm kidding, but I'm pretty sure that's the way it is. I'm getting better at delegating and realizing other people can do what I do. However, I like to feel important. I'm a child of God, first and foremost. With that, comes extensive growth and discipline, daily. So with the statements above, I am a work in progress, everyday. I will never apologize for that. I am a wife, second. My spouse comes after God. Never forget who comes first. Your eternity depends on it. I am a mom, th...

The. Struggle. Is. Real. No, really, it is.  I finally made my appearance back in the gym today- I know right? One day back and I'm inspired to write and tell you how fitness is key. Ha-ha. I'm not going to do that- but I did get encouraged. #Endorphins I told myself yesterday as I polished off the last few chocolate covered almonds, that today was the day. Just keepin' it real. I haven't been too terrible with my diet. Aside from eating chicken quesadillas at 9:45 pm last Friday night, I haven't been too extreme. Besides the chocolate covered marsh mellow addiction. Okay, so I might have been slightly out of control. Not completely though. Yes, I believe there's a difference. So, let's be real here. Raise your hand if the next day is day 1 again? Tomorrow, it'll be day 2. I refuse to start over, again. Seriously. I have got to get the steroid/junk food/couch loving/comfort food weight OFF. Here in the next year, I can't use m...

Can we talk about getting older? Is that too cliche'? How about... can we talk about how things change as we get older? There... lets go down that rabbit hole. What better way to close out another year of age, than to finally share a blog with y'all? I literally just got my hair done, 2 weeks ago. Then, one week ago I saw how awesome I was because I had glitter in my hair once again... yeah. "glitter". I mean, com'on! Those grey's man... can I get any amens?? no.. just me. Liars. It took me almost 35 years to find out that when your skin tans, it is actually the skins way of protecting itself against the sun. Seriously. So... there is no protection around my eyes anymore. It's like my skin gave the international sign to the sun. Therefore, I have these awesome 'freckles' that stop just before the lack of sleep circles begin. (Dark circles for all you gems that don't have them) Don't worry, I have heard there is an awesome skinc...

You are just another statistic now. That's what she told me when I told her from the payphone at the gas station, on the corner of hwy 9 and hwy 102.  I was 16 and pregnant. I still feel it burn in my ear drum from my end of the cord. 'you are just another statistic now.' At that time I wasn't really sure what that meant. But I knew it wasn't kind. Even if it was true. Here we are, 17 years later. I write about my son a lot. Not to leave my other sons out, because I'm just as proud. Just when I think I couldn't be prouder of my boys, they prove me wrong. There's just something special about being a young mom, and proving others wrong, I guess. The nay sayers- you'll never make it. You won't finish high school. You won't amount to anything. He'll end up in the hood. My 'hood' boy was just awarded the iron man during his football senior year banquet. We weren't broadcasted on live television for reality TV but we ma...