Grace, Love & Kindness + Life.

When you first have children they talk about the challenges of parenting. The struggles of a baby waking in the night, the toddler who doesn't want to stay in their bed, the cost of childcare-or the constant struggle of finding the right childcare. Injuries from sports... Having to take off work to pick them up from school when they don't feel well. Helping them with homework. A messy house, the never ending laundry and the smell of their rooms. Oh the smell. The cost of school supplies, clothes and lunches. You anticipate their eyes and smiles come Christmas morning, only sometimes to be let down in disappointment because you couldn't afford exactly what they asked Santa for. But their eyes- nonetheless sparkle because deep inside, you tried. Those are magical moments. You coach them in sports. Rushing to practices and ballgames, times 4. You tote them all over to let them play the dream. The game they love. No matter the expense or how exhausting it becomes. Life...

Do you ever just sit there and embrace all God has given you? We ask for 'one more day' on Sunday's. We ask for 'more time with our kids' We say 'if I had more time, we'd go fishing' We say 'I'll paint that room when I get some free time' We say 'we eat in front of the TV' because we want to watch that program while we eat, double bonus. We say 'we'll go camping on a 3 day weekend' 'we'll do this or that when we have a free minute'. Bam- COVID-19. You have nothing but time. (considering you are not essential personal and at work. And in that case, please don't read this wrong. I am VERY grateful for our health care workers, our law enforcement, our postal service etc...) Anyone ever think this is all an opportunity? An opportunity to slow down? To love those we love a little better? How about the chance to sit at the kitchen table and play checkers? How about the chance to watch the rain while...

It felt like someone had taken my heart out of my chest, threw it up against a wall, let it fall to the ground and then stomped on it while it was on the floor. The 2nd round felt like my heart had never really been put back where it goes, and someone played soccer with it where it fell out before. I'm not sure I can describe how much I hurt in any other way. But I can tell you now, a couple weeks later. I know I'm going to be okay. Because this isn't about me. I know as a Christian I am to love others, as I love myself. I know I am to forgive, as I have been forgiven. Those two features don't come very easy. Like, at all. I want to share all these things about how I cannot stand my ex husband, and his wife. But this isn't about them either. My youngest boy has expressed wanting to live with this father. Visiting me, and living there. This is the same guy who has a felony DUI charge because he put my two boys in the car with him and drove while under...

Okay... Okay. Before I get into the details. Here's my disclaimer. We are not 'Vegan' we are not 'Vegetarians'. We are on a plant based 'diet' for 2 weeks. We're testing the waters. We've watched a few shows, we've read several stats, and we've done some of our own research, we've heard first hand testimonies. So, we're trying it out. Day 3 is almost complete. I haven't felt bloated. And I have slept SO well. As soon as this week hits, I will go without alcohol too. So that added in, I think is going to amp up weight loss too. I do know that alcohol sabotages my weight loss. So I will cut that out too. However, weight loss isn't the goal of trying out plant base dieting. The goal is health. I was to be healthy on the inside as well as looking healthy on the outside. I can't wait to share results as they come!

And trying to impress people we don't like? Dave Ramsey has this great quote: "We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like." I don't necessarily do the money part, but a few things have happened in the past month that created a huge "Woah" moment for me! For years, I have wondered why certain neighbors don't ask me and my husband to hang out more. I would get upset to find out there was a gathering that we weren't invited to. Of course, when I do have the chance to talk to these people, I realize that I don't have much in common with them, or we just don't "jive." But still. For years, I have wondered why certain groups of friends gather and hang out, and I wouldn't be invited. Of course, when I did have a chance to gather and hang out, I didn't exactly enjoy myself or feel comfortable. But still. Recently, I realized someone unfriended me on Facebook. Someo...

I was young-er, once. I was thinner, once. I weighed less, once. I was easier going, once. Now I'm older. I'm a little heavier. And I'm a little... okay, a bit- I refuse to say a lot, high maintenance. I'm humble, even though I'm confident. I have trouble being myself sometimes. I have trouble letting go of control. I like to be in charge, and the sooner you realize that, and 'go with my flow' the better friends we can be. I mean, I'd like to tell you I'm kidding, but I'm pretty sure that's the way it is. I'm getting better at delegating and realizing other people can do what I do. However, I like to feel important. I'm a child of God, first and foremost. With that, comes extensive growth and discipline, daily. So with the statements above, I am a work in progress, everyday. I will never apologize for that. I am a wife, second. My spouse comes after God. Never forget who comes first. Your eternity depends on it. I am a mom, th...

The. Struggle. Is. Real. No, really, it is.  I finally made my appearance back in the gym today- I know right? One day back and I'm inspired to write and tell you how fitness is key. Ha-ha. I'm not going to do that- but I did get encouraged. #Endorphins I told myself yesterday as I polished off the last few chocolate covered almonds, that today was the day. Just keepin' it real. I haven't been too terrible with my diet. Aside from eating chicken quesadillas at 9:45 pm last Friday night, I haven't been too extreme. Besides the chocolate covered marsh mellow addiction. Okay, so I might have been slightly out of control. Not completely though. Yes, I believe there's a difference. So, let's be real here. Raise your hand if the next day is day 1 again? Tomorrow, it'll be day 2. I refuse to start over, again. Seriously. I have got to get the steroid/junk food/couch loving/comfort food weight OFF. Here in the next year, I can't use m...

Can we talk about getting older? Is that too cliche'? How about... can we talk about how things change as we get older? There... lets go down that rabbit hole. What better way to close out another year of age, than to finally share a blog with y'all? I literally just got my hair done, 2 weeks ago. Then, one week ago I saw how awesome I was because I had glitter in my hair once again... yeah. "glitter". I mean, com'on! Those grey's man... can I get any amens?? no.. just me. Liars. It took me almost 35 years to find out that when your skin tans, it is actually the skins way of protecting itself against the sun. Seriously. So... there is no protection around my eyes anymore. It's like my skin gave the international sign to the sun. Therefore, I have these awesome 'freckles' that stop just before the lack of sleep circles begin. (Dark circles for all you gems that don't have them) Don't worry, I have heard there is an awesome skinc...

You are just another statistic now. That's what she told me when I told her from the payphone at the gas station, on the corner of hwy 9 and hwy 102.  I was 16 and pregnant. I still feel it burn in my ear drum from my end of the cord. 'you are just another statistic now.' At that time I wasn't really sure what that meant. But I knew it wasn't kind. Even if it was true. Here we are, 17 years later. I write about my son a lot. Not to leave my other sons out, because I'm just as proud. Just when I think I couldn't be prouder of my boys, they prove me wrong. There's just something special about being a young mom, and proving others wrong, I guess. The nay sayers- you'll never make it. You won't finish high school. You won't amount to anything. He'll end up in the hood. My 'hood' boy was just awarded the iron man during his football senior year banquet. We weren't broadcasted on live television for reality TV but we ma...

Holy wow batman. No, seriously. I know, everyone has problems... I get that. Everyone is going through junk. Not to downgrade that, whatsoever. Here's my year, thus far. The year didn't start off terrible. We were putting money back, knowing our Vegas trip was just around the corner. (the 31st of Jan. we were leaving) One of my childhood best friends was getting married. I was so excited to get away, and be a part of her special day. If found my dress. Got it altered, and taken in 2 sizes -thank you! Everything was moving right along. So I thought. My sister in law had gotten really sick. She went into the hospital, had a procedure. Went home. All of a sudden it went south, fast. *Side note, why do we say that? "It went south..." I like the living in the south. I mean, I'm just saying.*  She ended up in a coma, and it was not looking good, like at all. Next thing we know, from Monday to Friday, she's being taken off life support, only to be go...

It isn't just a movie. It's reality. And for so many girls it's our every day. Mean Girls. "You can't sit with us". "On Wednesday's we wear pink". "Is butter a carb?" Just to name a few I like to say often, joking of course. My personal favorite though.... (don't fool yourself into believing that I think this way--merely for my blog purposes.) I don't think of myself as a mean girl. I know I have some 'qualities' of being one, but when I think of who is mean, I think of girls who put down other girls. These women who are only encouraging you if you are doing something they are a fan of. These women who if you are out at the same place with a mutual friend, is the reason they would even be saying hello. Mean girls, should really be titled jealous girls. Because that's what it will boil down to. They are shaking their head no as they read this, and if you find yourself shaking your head, you are...

Every year as it comes to a close I sit and reflect on the previous 365 days. No, not to stew on what was... but to recap what has happened, things that were amazing, things that were average, things that could have been better, things that were just total crap and things that I can learn from.  In 2015 I began my year with a word that would carry us into the new year. It's holds me to a higher standard as I go throughout my year. It carries me through my walk with Christ. It carries me through my leadership with others.  2015 .... Hope 2016 .... Trust 2017 .... Obedience 2018 ..... I'm nervous, and excited where this will take me. Because I know I haven't picked up my kindle near as much as I should have in 2017. To continue to develop as a leader. But I'm sure that isn't all that is in store for that word. Because in the past years, those words, were never just those words. So as I lean in, I cannot wait to grow, and see where He takes me as 20...

We live in a world of social media. In a world where we would rather shoot a text out, than call, even sitting outside to say 'here'. In a world where our President tweets. I don't know if I would call it a 'simpler' time when home phones still had a cord, and children knew to be in, when the street lights came on. Or, nowadays, where you can text to say 'come home' and our phones go mobile with us. So excuse me while I rattle off my thoughts to you & post to my social media... about social media. {Ironic} We live in a time where you can 'unfollow' yet still keep someone as a 'friend'. So you don't hurt anyone's feelings. Where, when someone likes a post on your social media platform it gives you a dose of dopamine.  What? True. Yes. You smile, and then you check back often to see if others have liked your post. This can get dangerous. Because the likes on social media and happiness have nothing to do with one another. ...

Everyone has a political agenda. Yes, everyone. We all believe in something. Whether it's the 'right' to kneel. Whether it's the right to vote. Or the right to live where we want to live. It's all the same thing, what we believe. What a misconception of the real belief at hand though. You have freedom. Seriously, freedom. You made the choice to create a new stance 'kneeling' on the football field. And in other countries, you don't have that choice. But here, you have the freedom to vote, to live where you want to live.. you have freedom to drive down the street without wondering if it's safe. Do you know why you have freedom? Do you know why you have the ability to have beliefs that can be televised? The men and women who fought for this soil! The very thing you kneel for, someone STOOD for. I never write about politics. And I may learn my lesson this first time. But it's so aggravating to see my absolute favorite sport, and watch t...

I knew this year was coming. I've known it since you were born.  However, there is nothing that actually prepares you, for what it'll actually feel like. I cry as I write this son, because you came into my life, at a difficult time. I know that sounds crazy. Pregnancy is a joyful time, but at 16 years old living in poverty, you became my light. It was me and you son, it'll always be me and you.  I'll take third one day soon, there will be a wife one day, and that's okay... As long as your number one never changes, I'm fine with that. Just know, that you are my champion. You are my hero. You are the light in a dark world.  I will cherish this time, each and every moment I have with you at home. And when I don't get to hug and kiss you good night every night, I'll still worry, but I'll know God takes care of his children, which will get me through. As we're coming into the last, first 9 weeks of your high school ye...

A year ago I weighed less. A year ago I was training for my first half marathon. A year ago I was eating well, and strict with my nutrition. A year ago, I put on muscle. And the number on the scale wasn't as low as the year prior, but it didn't reflect in my jean size. A year ago, was a year ago. And a lot changes in a year. Several injections later. Several doctor visits. A couple trips to the ER. Burning nerves off in 2 sections. Back injury/pain/whatever you want to call what happened, it was a tough season. But it was just that, a season. It's over, but it's not. Because the stretching I do every day before proceeding through my day. The stretching I do before a walk at the gym. The stretching I do before bed every night. It's a routine now. This is week 2 that just began back in the gym. I'm so grateful. I'm grateful for the ability to walk. To stretch, to move my joints. I take for granted so much of the time, all the blessings that are wi...

Lately, I have really let you down in my writing. I haven't made time for it. Honestly. There is time. I could write instead of watch a show, but sometimes it's nice to decompress with mindless activity. However... I've had the worst heartache over lack of verbal conversation that's going on, everywhere. The other day I "spoke" a 'deep' conversation with my son through a text message. Granted, he wasn't home, but it really should have waited, and I should have made him talk to me about this, and not hide behind a screen. This is what we do now, though. I've been pondering this for several months, and then, God knew I wasn't making time to write, he led me to someone else's blog. I couldn't have written this any better. From Brie. I look around today and I wonder if we wouldn’t be better taking a step back in time where we could focus more on important matters, and less on trivial ones. I see the things around me tha...

Wrapping up to another year-older. I don't necessarily struggle with my age. As matter of fact, the older I'm getting the more I cherish the moments during each year. It's so fun to go back through photos and see what is close to my heart. Those are the moments we capture. Maybe we post them.. maybe they are only for us. You've seen some of these photos, and that's okay. These were all taken during the year of '33'. Photos you might not see, is pain. Someone missing from a photo, the sleepless nights from chronic back pain. Tears from strained relationships that we know only God can repair. Milestones. Two people very dear to our hearts left us for Heaven. I finally passed the insurance exam and became licensed. I started training for a marathon and on my first 5K, I injured my back terribly and have been out of the 'game' since. A couple rounds of injections, & my followup appointment will kick off my next year. Daniel...